Pretentious Mix Tapes I Made In High School

36. i want a rhythm to compliment my groove

This mix is about the first day of school, junior year.

Why It’s Pretentious: A lot of the time, mixes that I make are actually responses to other mixes. That way, when I start yet another one with Miles Fisher, I can pretend I’m being clever because don’t you see the subtle — nay, coy — reference. This mix is about all the songs I liked this summer that weren’t by Jeff the Brotherhood or Diarrhea Planet. I hope that when I officially start Pretentious Mixtapes I Made In College, I will still consider Jojo’s “Paint” to be “my jam” and Pitbull into The Drums to be one of the most inspired transitions of all time. In conclusion, Beyonce is pregnant? You guys, I don’t have TV.

Spotify link.

Tracklisting and downloads after the jump.

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You Make Me Feel Like Danzig

This mix is about boys with Hitler Youth haircuts. Ahem:

Why It’s Pretentious: (Disclaimer: this post has been queued up for AGES, so ignore the outdated references and just concentrate on the German pop.) So it’s come to my attention that the “Hitler Youth” haircut is now so popular that the New York Times wrote an article about it. Look guys, not to be a jerk or anything, BUT I HAVE BEEN CRUSHING HARDCORE ON THE HITLER YOUTH HAIRCUT FOR YEARS.

In high school, I had a crush on this kid with a Hitler haircut who also wore a green army jacket with a little German flag on the sleeve. Unf, right? Unfortunately, I think he may have actually been an anti-Semite, so, you know, I can’t go for that. No. No can do. But then there was Yannis and sometimes even Jimmy from Foals. And then Simon from Misfits, who, by the way, played a Nazi in the last episode, what is that even. And I think we can all agree that Thin White Duke Bowie is the best Bowie of them all.

All I’m saying is, get off my back, New York Times. If I want to dance around to Avril Lavinge singing in German while celebrating the beauty that is the Hitler Youth haircut, that’s my prerogative.

Download: Right click, save-as.

Tracklisting and more downloads after the jump.

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Funbargo, or Free Music I Downloaded Off The Internet

This mix is about having no monies but impeccable taste.

Why It’s Pretentious: So last semester, I created this thing called Funbargo, which is what happens when you look at your schedule and your bank account, and then get really really sad. From then on, you don’t spend money on anything, in hopes that you will get work done instead of procrastinating by going to PUNK PUNK RAWK RAWK SHOWS or THE MOVIE THEATER or SHOPPING MALLS. In the spirit of Funbargo, here are my favorite songs that I’ve download for free since I started two weeks ago:

1. Who Is KB? - KB

I’m not much for genres prefaced by “Christian-” but I am a sucker for a) rappers who spit so fast I have to do a double-take, b) soul-inspired beats, and c) Lion King samples. You had me at “Nants ingonyama bahithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama.” EP available on NoiseTrade.

2. Pipes - Vinyl Thief

I remember being a little weary about Nashville’s Vinyl Thief because their aesthetic is very Mylo Xyloto-era Coldplay, but when I saw them live, their synth-based pop and hyperactive ginger lead singer blew me away. This number is a particularly dark and sultry 80s-infused tune. EP available on NoiseTrade.

3. Pop Song Animal - The Atolls

Ah, The Atolls. We all know how much I’ve jammed to their “Older Nazi Boyfriends,” so I was stoked to find out that their other songs are equally as raucous. An LA-based garage band, they sound a bit like The Cars channeled through moody early-naughts dance-punk champs like The Bravery, She Wants Revenge, and Stellastarr*. Stream their new Get Popular EP, get their old The Atolls EP for free, and get new single “Pop Song Animal” for free— all on Bandcamp.

4. Girls - Soft Care

Imagine The Strokes covering David Bowie.

Download via YVYNYL.

5. John Johnny - Heavy Cream

Come May, I expect girls across the nation to pick up a guitar and a bad attitude after having their lives made better and more bitter by listening to Super Treatment. Its Joan Jett-inspired babe-shred is going to spit in your face and tear you apart with its teeth and you’re goinna like it. Download via Spin.

6. The Only Place - Best Coast

No surprise that my favorite California ladycrush hit us with a sunny surf-pop tune, but there’s less fuzz this time around and no sign of her three signature emotions (I want you, I miss you, I need you). Is this what growing up sounds like? If so, look out, adulthood— here I come! Download via the Best Coast website.