So I’m going to try a new thing on this blog subtitled Pop Culture Round Up. (This week, it’s titled after The Smiths; next week, perhaps Katy Perry, who knows?) Essentially, it’ll be all the things I loved during the week that don’t fit the regular Pretentious Mixtapes format, but are worth reading/downloading/streaming/watching. Admittedly, I will have found most of it via Music Journalism Goddess Katie Chow… not this week though! Muahahaha, take that!
I arrived in Austin already pretty far gone, and staggered off the plane into a smell cloud of barbecue, the need to vomit sneaking up on me like a friend I owed money. By the time I got to the cab stand, the line stretched on forever with exiles from normal society and sunlight. Your standard SXSW attendee mix.
If you don’t like Jay-Z because you just don’t like the way he sounds, or you’re sick of his cloying ubiquity, or you wish he’d talk about something other than where he’s from for five seconds—hey, I’m not mad, I don’t like Bruce Springsteen for the same reasons. But … all the well-meaning white folks who’ve told me how they want to like Lil Wayne but lo, the misogyny, the violence, the drugs. But, but, I’ll say: Bob Dylan aced misogyny; the Rolling Stones sang about violence; the Velvet Underground knew their way around some drugs. Yeeeah, but it’s different, they’ll say, elongating that “yeah” with conspiratorial inflection: you know what I mean. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
Titanic is three hours and 14 minutes long, which—fun fact—is longer than the actual journey of the Titanic. It is sooooo ballsy to just assume people will watch your movie for three hours and 14 minutes! Especially when everyone already knows exactly what happens in the end (spoiler: the boat is Keyser Söze). Sorry, Epcot Center, I’mma let you finish, but James Cameron’s balls are like the giantest balls of all time. It would take three hours and 14 minutes just to walk around the circumference of James Cameron’s balls.
“This generation is so dead,” he said at one point. “You ask a kid, ‘What are you doing this Saturday?’ and they’ll be playing video games or watching cable, instead of building model cars or airplanes or doing something creative. Kids today never say, ‘Man, I’m really into remote-controlled steamboats.’ They never say that.”
SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION. I was interviewed for this article.