Pretentious Mix Tapes I Made In High School

This mix is by Tiffany and is about teacups and lost love, seemingly.

Why It’s Pretentious: Since I didn’t post anything yesterday — I gotta take some days off, you guys — here’s a two-parter for you.  ”We were two kids acting tough, then we grew up / Well, me not so much” pretty much sums up this blog’s arrested development and the mix highlights some of my favorite artists from high school and college. (“My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend” by Her Space Holiday remains one of my favorite songs of all time.) But what I really like is the flow: pretty delicate with a few yearning bursts of energy here and there. Good for welcoming wandering thoughts about lost loves… when you should be writing a paper.

Stream 1&2 via 8tracks.

This mix is by dearoldcharm and is about how I wish I was a little bit taller. Additionally, a baller.

Why It’s Pretentious: I usually like to stream mixtapes before I download them, but a quick perusal of the tracklist made me download this immediately. You guys. Every song that it was inappropriate for me to love in the 90s is on this mix. It brings up strange memories. Listening to “Can I Get A” while sitting in the back of my aunt’s car, driving away from Mass. Hearing “No Diggity” in my 675th viewing of Dunston Check’s In. Pretending I didn’t just sing “go go Jason waterfalls” to my uncle. Staying in the cafeteria for an extra three minutes and 34 seconds so I could define a scrub and inform the masses why I would prefer to do without one via song. Wait what?

Download via MediaFire.

This mix is about OHMYGODI’MSOHAPPYYOUGUYS.

Why It’s Pretentious: I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Moovers and Shakers reached its goal on Kickstarter. To celebrate the fact that I’ll soon be driving around Nashville selling milkshakes via truck, I’m posting an hour of happy, bouncy, dance-y, twirly POP. It’s all about the moments: the can-can line breakdown in “Come on Eileen,” the surprise solo at the end of “The One You Want,” the handclaps and the lovestruck sincerity in “Always On My Mind.” This is the happiest mix I’ve ever made, and only a fraction of how I feel right now.

Side note: If you’re interested in winning my love, just tape “The Idea of Growing Old” followed by “The Promise” for me. I WILL LITERALLY FALL INTO YOUR ARMS.

Tracklisting and downloads after the jump.

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This mix is about Easter.

Why It’s Pretentious: As you can tell, none of my mixes in high school were allowed to have short names. (This is probably because I listened to a smidge too much Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, and of Montreal— aha! One of those is not like the other.) So the real title of this mix is Reinvent Love: Melodramas of Colored, Speckled Eggs. Obviously it’s about Christ rising and vanquishing sin from the world. JOKE. It’s basically about rabbits and candy. Happy Easter everyone!

Tracklisting and downloads after the jump.

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This mix is by quarterwhipped and is about David Bowie. JOKE. It’s about people who like David Bowie.

Why It’s Pretentious: My dear friend Sarah pointed this mix out to me the other day and I promised I would post it today… and then I forgot until right now. This is extremely shameful, on account of, DAVID BOWIE. You guys. David Bowie is my idol. You know who else is my idol? Morrissey, obviously— and he’s featured here doing a cover of “Drive-In Saturday.” Vivian Girls, Mates of State, M. Ward, and Au Revoir Simone also make the cut. Unfortunately, Big Surr did not, even though they have one of the best Bowie melodies ever. For shame!

Download via Copy Cats.

This mix is about the seven deadly sins.

Why It’s Pretentious: This is part three of my five-part trilogy about Christianity. The actual title is “The On A Sunday She Thought It Through Series: Part Three - Seven Deadly Sins. There are seven!!! And they are deadly!!!! REPENT, LEST YOU BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL FOR ETERNITY.” It also came with some pretty stellar artwork, as I cut and pasted minimalist photos of models participating in cardinal sins. I like to think that the America’s Next Top Model episode on the seven deadly sins was directly influenced by Tyra Bank’s visions of my mixtape. Ridiculous? No. Accurate? You betcha.

Sins, tracklisting, and downloads after the jump.

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This mix is by Prophet Zen and is about the zombie apocalypse.

Why It’s Pretentious: There are two things I loved in school: zombies and convoluted apocalyptic theories. (Okay, also, X-Men.) So I think it’s fair to say that this mix is my jam. Most of the mix comes from dark and rumble-y orchestral tunes off soundtracks from mind-bending movies, but there’s also a track from Godspeed You Black Emperor! I never listened to Godspeed You Black Emperor! in high school, but I did like yelling their name while running and pouncing on people’s backs.

Stream via 8tracks.

This mix is about your favorite song, but better.

Why it’s Pretentious: Look, if you’re gonna be pretentious, you better have a lot of alternate versions of songs lying around. You better collect unreleased Smiths demos and bootlegs. You better yell “when you kiss me— I sing it back” when you’re listening to “Sweetness” by Jimmy Eat World and change the entire ending of ”Round Here” by the Counting Crows during your weekly ironic karaoke. You better refer to “Mathletics” as “Neu Funk Aum,” a double whammy since Foals didn’t even release either version on a full-length. Takin’ things to the next level, you know? Anyway, this is a mix of songs that sound better than their actual releases. Respect.

Tracklisting and downloads after the jump.

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This mix is about unusually attractive speech disorders.

Why It’s Pretentious: This mix is named after the album version of “Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks,” even though the demo version was clearly better. (Yeah, I just made Panic! At The Disco pretentious. You’re welcome.) I think stuttering is adorable and — along with handclaps, toy pianos, and crinkly lo-fi tape hiss — it’s one of my biggest weaknesses in songs. This mix contains some of my favorite stuttering songs that aren’t Ludacris’ “What’s Your Fantasy?” but are the Fresh Prince’s “Boom! Shake the Room.” Party tracks, y’all.

Tracklisting, downloads, and bonus song after the jump.

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This mix is by devincastro and is about The Fox and the Hound.

Why it’s Pretentious: This mix is about The Fox and the Hound. You guys. Just download it right now. Oh, that’s not enough, you scoff? 1. Obviously you don’t understand irony and I have taught you nothing. 2. Let me throw some names at you: The Shins. DeVotchKa. Regina Spektor. The Weepies. Mumford & Sons. Explosions in the Sky. Panda Bear. Beach House. This is what we call a high-school/present-day crossover and this is what we call a stellar mix. Also, Disney movies. Or Disney films, rather.

Download via Mediafire.

This mix is by Spin and is about this year’s Coachella line-up.

Why It’s Pretentious: Because festivals are pretentious. And rock magazines are pretentious. And Spin Magazine is doubly pretentious. (Quadrupably? You betcha.) Mostly because Morgan Swank works there. And it features !!! and any band that’s impossible to Google is definitely pretentious and misguided. But what I really like about this mix is the fact that it would have been really impressive when I was in high school, but now it’s very “PJ Harvey? Remember when she was on Gilmore Girls?” HAGS, Spin Magazine, Don’t Ever Change.

Free download via Spin.

This mix is about… our anniversary, maybe? Er…

Why It’s Pretentious: Sometimes I look back at mixes that I made for people and notice little subconscious things. Like, I probably should have known that including a song with the line “What do you mean I don’t love you? I am standing here, aren’t I?” on an anniversary tape meant the relationship was a little strained. (Or that when he didn’t appreciate Klaxons covering Justin Timberlake, it was definitely not mean to be.) I don’t listen to this mix much because that incidental foreshadowing is a bit strange to hear, but I do think it’s a sweet little jumble of songs. Makes me smile.

Tracklisting, downloads, and bonus quote after the jump.

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This mix is by Katie Chow and is about Q1, 2011.

Why It’s Pretentious: Because I feel the need to obsessively catalog and track my interests (I’ve had the same last.fm account for six years), here is a mix of fifteen favorite songs from the first quarter of 2011.  It features comeback tracks from the Kills, Architecture in Helsinki, and MSTRKRFT, as well as clever pop culture-referencing raps from future collaborators Das Racist and Childish Gambino.  I know that all of this is pretty pretentious, because I’m a music journalist who trades having a real social life for spending too much time on the internet, thus living in a weird digital cavern of mp3s and arguments about microgenres.  However, you should listen to this anyways; “Love & Lust” by Arveene & Misk is a great electro banger and Oberhofer is one of the best live acts I’ve seen so far this year.  Also, I’m just going to confess now that I wish there was a mash-up of both songs called “Hot Mess” from Chromeo and Cobra Starship.  Does that make me sound any less pretentious?  No?  Fine.  Just go listen to all of Zonoscope by Cut Copy, because it is phenomenal.

Stream via 8tracks.

Tracklisting after the jump.

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This mix is about the end of the world.

Why It’s Pretentious: Since I’ve been posting a lot of middle school tapes lately, I thought I would overcompensate with another convoluted epic. This one has a ridiculously long title that I obviously stole from David Bowie and is based off Foals’ “Electric Bloom.” Basically, this kid keeps having nightmares about the end of the world, so he tries to warn people, but no one listens to him. He’s waiting and waiting for a sign to show people that his visions are real, but he just gets angrier and angrier until he snaps, goes on a rampage, and single-handedly destroys the world as we know it. Self-fulfilling apocalyptic prophecies, you guys!

Also, he’s like, in love with a girl and stuff.

Tracklisting and downloads after the jump.

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This mix is by cactus-mouth and is about 50s-60s pop gems.

Why It’s Pretentious: I originally had a guest post from one of my friends planned, but it’s getting late and I wanted to do it justice, Facebook-pimping-wise, so quick switch! I’ve been listening to a lot of 50s and 60s pop to get in the soda shop mood, and I stumbled upon this mix of cover songs of Sam Cooke, The Everly Brothers, Bo Diddley, and more stellar oldies-but-goodies. Definitely worth a spin on the ol’ record player.

Download via Mediafire.

This mix is about me.

Why It’s Pretentious: In middle school, I had a very long playlist called “Theme Songs” that features songs that were CLEARLY WRITTEN ABOUT ME YOU GUYS. Since it’s from middle school, it a) doesn’t follow the theme of this blog and b) is even more angsty and bad than usual. (Please note how it starts with a song that is slightly sad and then jumps straight to a song about how I’m so much more awesome than you.) Obviously “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” makes an appearance, but strangely, there’s no Jenny Owen Youngs or Taking Back Sunday, which I find to be an incredibly inaccurate representation of middle school me.

Side Note: Moovers and Shakers has their Kickstarter up! If you read this blog and you’re like, wow, her taste is music is spectacular and I’d really love to help her dreams come true and maybe get one of her mixtapes mailed to me, THIS IS FOR YOU.

Tracklisting and downloads after the jump.

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This is mix is by Sarah and is about lucifugous.

Why It’s Pretentious: I once made Sarah a mix based on the dictionary word of the day: idioglossia, or the unintelligible, secret language between twins, or two people who are otherwise inseparable. This mix is based around the word lucifugous, which means shunning the light. It features music from Yeasayer, Bon Iver, and Blind Pilot, and is whatever the dark-version of stellar is.

Side Note: Moovers and Shakers won a $2000 grant today! One step closer to getting this truck on the road.

Stream via 8tracks.